Bull Shark Suspected Of Practicing Medicine Without A License

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CHARLOTTE – (CT&P) – The North Carolina Medical Board has opened an investigation into the actions of a bull shark and part-time physician who amputated the limbs of two kids swimming in waist deep waters off Oak Island, 30 miles south of Wilmington on Sunday.

Authorities in North Carolina suspect the shark of practicing medicine without a proper license and failure to pay proper fees before performing surgery within the state.

The physician in question, Dr. Carcharhinus Leucas, has long been in the habit of performing impromptu surgeries on individuals who use North Carolina beaches for recreational activities.

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For years patients have complimented Dr. Leucas on the comfort of his waiting room which is kept at a comfortable 77 degrees Fahrenheit.

Although most residents of Oak Island speak of Dr. Leucas in glowing terms, he has been sued for malpractice three times by patients who were unhappy with the results of his treatment.

“Dr. Leucas has acted with reckless abandon in this instance,” said North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory. “We’re not so much concerned with the quality of his care but more with his failure to pay the proper fees and his unwillingness to purchase liability insurance.

“He supposedly has a medical degree from some country down in the Caribbean,” said the governor. “But that doesn’t mean he can just operate on anyone he wants to whenever they enter the water. We can’t just let anyone run around and practice medicine in this state unless they pay us the proper confiscatory fees beforehand.”

“If Dr. Leucas wants to continue to operate, he’s going to have to pay us off just like every other professional. Here in North Carolina the only people we let run around and do whatever they want are the fine folks from Duke Energy. They can do no wrong.”