WASHINGTON, D.C – Today during the daily top-secret off camera press briefing, White House Spokestapir Sara Huckabee Sanders told assembled journalists that Donald Trump Jr did absolutely nothing wrong when he met with a representative of a foreign adversary seeking illegally obtained information about the Clinton Campaign.
“Campaign operatives do this kind of thing every day,” said Huckabee Sanders, with her patented smirk planted securely on her face. “Every campaign has organized gangs of petty criminals who seek dirt on the opposition from dictators around the world. Sometimes assassinations of opposing campaign volunteers and car bombings targeting important donors are necessary as well. This kind of stuff happens all the time.”
When pressed on why Trump Jr. was dumb enough to organize the meeting and has at last count three different versions of why he was there and what happened, Sanders told the press that Don Jr., like so many other Trump campaign operatives, had so many meetings with shadowy Russian figures during the run up to the election that it was just hard to keep up with all of them.
“Sometimes they have to be reminded of what actually happened by KGB officers or American prosecutors,” she said.
“I just want to say in closing that Don Jr. is a valuable member of his father’s staff, and he’s sharp as tack,” said Huckabee Sanders, her long proboscis twitching.
“Donald Jr can handle things. He’s smart. Not like everybody says…like dumb…he’s smart and he wants respect!”
Huckabee Sanders then excused herself and began grazing in a shallow pool filled with aquatic plants.
The Cretonia Times-Picayune 